Sheeping Good Looking

topic posted Sat, April 17, 2004 - 11:02 PM by  Unsubscribed
So what do you guys think of religious proselytizers who prey on all the unfaithful? I find that once they hear that you are not of their particular faith, they immediately start to their schpeels. What do you say to them? Do you smile and nod and then try to leave without letting them down to much? Or do you tell them you think they are full of shit?

I find myself relying on my innocent and sheepish look, to show my uncomfortability and skirting out of there as quickly as possible.
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  • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

    Sun, April 18, 2004 - 12:10 AM
    I once tried to counter-convert a Hare Krishna to Zoroastrianism.
    • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

      Wed, April 21, 2004 - 11:57 PM
      wooaah,
      thats a job for superenlightened girl!
      howd that one work out?
      • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

        Thu, April 22, 2004 - 7:08 AM
        It was fun to watch him become gradually less comfortable and begin looking for an escape route!
        • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

          Thu, April 22, 2004 - 7:19 AM
          when I was in high school in Manhattan, the scientologists had offices two doors down from us. They were constantly approaching our kids on the street despite our warnings to leave em the hell alone. Til the one morning they came to their place to find a cinder block shaped hole (put there by one of our seniors who was actually big and powerful enough to hurl a cinder block quite effortlessly) in their awning over the sidewalk (which was illegal because we were a landmark designated block).
          Suddenly they left our kids alone.
          • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

            Thu, April 22, 2004 - 7:20 AM
            oh...and the awning disappeared too ;)
            • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

              Thu, April 22, 2004 - 11:18 PM
              Hahaha!

              I lived in LA for a while, and there's a chruch that preys on homeless by helping them out and then brainwashing them to zealously promote the church.

              It really confuses brainwashed folks when you bring up facets of thier religion's history they don't know...

              Like reincarnation was a doctrine of the catholic church until the 2nd committee of Constantinople.

              "but I'm not Catholic, I'm Christian!" they'd say.

              Until the reformation in the 16th-17th century, there was no difference. The Catholics held all documents related to the religion in Latin, which most common folks couldn't read, and translated the same texts later for public consumption.
              What bible do you use?

              (usually King James)

              Oh, the version that King James re-wrote to allow him a divorce, which was forbidden before. Right.

              It says in the bible that if a man so much as changes the style of a letter of a word, that the text is to be considered invalid (loose translation, not exact quote)

              What is a translation?

              If it's truly God's word to be taken literally,
              have you read the original Latin or Greek versions?

              (by this point they're in over their heads and realize it)

              I love comparitave religions. Did you know that the story of Noah and the flood predated the bible in Sumerian and Babylonian texts (both areas are prone to seasonal flooding)
              exact to the types of birds released?

              Needless to say, this is a long way to go.

              A friend of mine had another approach:
              Invite them in.
              Let them speak.
              Pay attention to the start and end time.
              Thank them for sharing their beliefs and ask the same of them,
              quoting the time he'd spent listening to their opinion.
              The will usually be uncertain, but agree if you've been courteous.

              Then he's open with:
              "I'm a witch. I follw the traditions of pre-Christian religions of my European ancestors before me..."

              They forgot their bible on the dash for the door...
              Two minutes return for a half hour investment of time,
              but they never came back...
              • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                Fri, April 23, 2004 - 6:06 AM
                A coworker of mine has a degree in comparative religions (he is actually a reverend). One day he got buttonholed on the sidewalk by a member of X religion (don't remember which) who tried to foist some brochures upon my friend. My friend said, "According to your doctrine, 144,000 will be taken into heaven at the second coming, right?"
                "Yes."
                "And your particular faith has 250,000 members, right?"
                "Right."
                "So why are you still recruiting?"
                He said the poor man's brain vapor-locked.
                • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                  Sun, April 25, 2004 - 9:06 PM
                  The Jehovah Witnesses kept coming to the house after my mother had surgery and could barely move.

                  We asked them nicely to go away. They kept waking her and returning.

                  One day, we left a pile of old bones and a sign outside the front door: This is the last Jehovah Witness to come. He has met with Jehovah.

                  They did not return.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                    Mon, April 26, 2004 - 10:27 AM
                    Guy I knew (big, burley, long hair & beard) spotted a couple of them coming down the street. He pulled off his shirt, painted an upside-down cross on his torso with ketchup, and grabbed a thawing chicken from the fridge. He met them at the door while holding the chicken by its feet and said, "Come on in, you're just in time for the sacrifice!"
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                    Tue, April 27, 2004 - 2:21 PM
                    yaaaaaaaay Mara! !~

                    hereabouts, a cheery BLESSED BE usually works...specially if youre wearing a pentagram to the door

                    ;)
                    • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                      Tue, April 27, 2004 - 4:58 PM
                      tee hee- who me?

                      I must say, this is a most riveting discussion- this board does rock!
                      • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                        Tue, April 27, 2004 - 11:46 PM
                        When i lived with my mother in Hawaii, we had a bookcase near the front door that had books covering quite a number of religions. My sister and I would take turns answering the door, always making sure to peek out the side to see if it was a potential 'marketer' or not.

                        If they looked like a missionary (suit, satchel, pamphlets) then we would pick a random volume, and open the door. Invaribly when they asked if we were interested in discussing their religion-de-jour, we would mention that we had been discussing the finer points of whatever book we'd picked from the shelf -- casually reaching back to pluck it from the rack and let them see it. Worked great to keep them away!
                        • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                          Wed, April 28, 2004 - 10:32 AM
                          I never even open the door...I even let em see me looking out the window, and smirking and walking away
                          • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

                            Wed, April 28, 2004 - 3:54 PM
                            Back in my youth of mulets and metal,
                            a friend of mine saw them coming and paused the CD
                            until they knocked, then opened the door to
                            Iron Maiden's '666 the Number of the Beast'

                            They stopped knocking on his door early on saturday mornings...
  • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

    Wed, April 28, 2004 - 8:35 PM
    I ammmm dreading the upcoming dinner with my neighbors. Don't get me wrong, they are a sweet couple, my age, extremely nice and sweet....
    ...But they Love the Lord, and wanna make sure you can find him, if you need him!

    Nice folks, not my scene, and I know they'll bring it in. Especially if 'dinner' is Wednesday-Sunday. My ex-in-laws were big born agains, I know how and when they work!

    My two favorite proselytizing stories...

    My Grandfather, a cantankerous man, once opened the door to some one who wanted to show him 'the way'.

    He looked them up and down and said
    "I'll let you in to talk, but only if you can tell me what language Jesus spoke..."

    The missionary replied
    "Why, he was Jewish, he spoke Hebrew"
    To which he replied
    "WRONG! He spoke Aramaic!" and slammed the door in her face.

    Personally, I had a pair of girls (had to be under 13) come to my door, and ask me if I've accepted Christ. I replied, very sincerely,
    "I'm sorry, I'm Hindu" (Which is about the closest my beliefs come to).
    They were paralyzed, as if they were trained to deal with Catholics, Lutherans, Episcopalians, Jews & Muslims, but Hindu floored them. Stunned one of them stammerred out (and I did feel sorry for them, they were so young I knew they felt that they had to believe these things and had to make others believe them, I don't fault them, but their parents, Grrrr!)

    "So what does that mean, what do you believe?"
    "It's complicated, but basically, all things emerge from the same fabric that comprises the universe, and all things are related in that way"

    Even more stunned, they asked,
    "So do you believe in 'Heaven and Hell?"
    "No, I believe my consciousness will be reborn in various states until it gains the true knowledge of it's place in the entirty of the universe"
    "OK, Good Night"
    (Walked off)
    • Re: Sheeping Good Looking

      Thu, April 29, 2004 - 1:40 PM
      You can do good work in talking to bornagains about tolerance, but it takes time and patience... Remind them of Jesus' teachings while being yourself.

      I had a housemate once who was very vocal in his attempts to convert any and all around him. I waited until we signed the papers, then told him I'd be away for the weekend. When he asked where I was going, I explained I'm a pagan, was attending a beltane ceremony in the mountains, and would be back on tuesday.... in about that many words.

      For weeks we had discussions on religion, in which I would educate him of finer points of his own faith, and cross refernce them to other religions. The 'elephant' anaolgy of religion in long form...

      When he moved out to travel some months later, he thanked me.
      He said he was worried that living with me would weaken his faith, but that our talks had made him more secure in his beliefs and more tolerant of other's at the same time...

      Good luck with the dinner party!

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